Image compliments of Ben Earwicker
Anyone want to fail at marketing? Would you like to spend lots of money promoting your business and get nothing for it?
I’m hoping you’re shouting. “NO!” at the screen right now.
Here are thirteen common marketing mistakes that companies (like yours) make every day. They don’t mean to, they just don’t always stop and think about what they’re doing.
Read these really awful errors… and then don’t follow them!
1. Never explain you you’re doing
You’re a professional. Doctors don’t explain, why should you. The client doesn’t need to know why you’re charging, or what your process is, just that you’re doing it. That should be sufficient for anyone. Right?
2. Hire other people to write all your posts
Your own voice, views, and opinions don’t matter. Besides everything that you could say has already been said. Your own slant isn’t important.
3. Replying to comments is a waste of time
Interacting makes you seem approachable (who wants that)? Much better to be off doing something else. If you’re unreachable, it makes you much more desirable. Play hard to get.
4. Use lots of fancy words on your web site and your brochures
Write desiccated instead of dry and obstreperous rather than disruptive. Acronyms are good too. Don’t spell them out and never explain what they mean; they’ll show your prospects how smart you are.
5. Freebies are for sissies
Don’t give anything away or do anything for free (ever). It will just cut into your profits.
6. Make your products appeal to everybody
The more average you are, the more money you’ll make. Everyone can read English, and everyone wants large shipping containers and packing supplies. They have soo many uses!
7. Advertise to everyone
Your products and services are great. Everyone will want them. Get them in front of as many eyeballs as possible. Even people who don’t have pets will want your dog food.
8. Ignore emails from your contact form or ebooks
If they really want to reach you, they’ll call. Who has time to answer emails anyway.
9. Do everything for free
Eating is overrated. So is sleeping indoors.
10. Never share your ideas
Don’t even tell your partners or your vendors. Someone might steal them. Force everyone to sign non-disclosure agreements. Even the janitor.
11. Turn off all your social networking tools
Disable Google Plus, Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, on your blog, LinkedIn and web site. Don’t let anyone share until you have a private forum or something to sell.
12. Include a 5-page legal policy on your site
Everyone will read all those rules and regulations. They won’t mind. Oh, and require written permission before anyone can link to you.
Important note: I am not making these up. They’re real. Even the last one.