About Jodi Kaplan

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Big Plans, USPs, Sharing, and Cake

Chocolate Cake Flourless (1)

Image via Wikipedia

A few days ago, Naomi Dunford challenged her readers to spread an “un-meme”

She asked some questions, challenged us to answer them (hard thinking ahead!) and then to share our company brand manifestos.

Here are the questions (and my answers).

What’s your game? What do you do?

I do marketing for software and creative businesses. I write copy for people who know what they do – but have trouble explaining it – or explaining it in a way that sells. Or want to sell to everybody. Or have great ideas, but trouble executing them.

I do web pages, emails, sales pages, postcards, marketing letters (ahhh, letters), all sorts of words. No ghostwriting. No press releases (but I can get you a whiz at it).

I help figure out your audience and help you stand out from your competition (heck, I can help you not have any competition).

Why do you do it? Do you love it, or do you just have one of those creepy knacks?

I have two scary knacks (both of which I love)!

The first is for cutting through clutter and creating organization out of chaos. My clients (and friends) call me The Clarity Driver. I can look at existing marketing and know what’s wrong, why it doesn’t work, and how to fix it.

The second is I’m a wizard of rewrite (like a script doctor, but for marketing). Scary good at reworking, editing, and makeovers. It’s like sending your words to a spa.

Who are your customers? What kind of people would need or want what you offer?

Creative and small technology businesses. I mean small. Not 100 people. Or 50. Someone with 10 people, maybe 15. Software nerds who aren’t marketers. Design firms who excel at graphic blandishment.

Web techy types (I speak conversational geek). Small is better. I have little patience for bureaucracy.

Could be online business, could be offline. Doesn’t matter.

What’s your marketing USP? Why should I buy from you instead of the other losers?

Bigger places have forgotten what it’s like to be small. They recommend TV, want to do huge mailings, or AdWords campaigns, and they charge a gazillion dollars. Or they drown themselves (and you) in gobbledygook full of jargon. You never know exactly what you’ll get. And when you do get it, you can’t understand it. I keep stuff simple.

What’s next for you? What’s the big plan?

Keeping with the “simple” theme, next for me is a new product called (cleverly) “Marketing Plans Made Simple.” More details tomorrow.
Then the triiibes library (brilliant people, brilliant ebooks all in one place). And probably a second, updated edition of my Instant Website Review checklist. And a handbook of templates (creative briefs, marketing timelines, kill fee schedules, stuff like that).

No plans to move to England. Though, I could do with some Cadbury Roses (chocolates) right now.

Now, go write your own post (or comment). Link back to this post if you like. Or link to Naomi’s post. She promised cake when you’re done, so I posted some. Just be careful, some of those pixels are crunchy.

What To Do When Things Go Wrong

I'm Mad As Hell, and God's Not Gonna Take It!
Image by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com via Flickr

My Internet broke this morning. I called Time Warner. The electronic voice asked what the problem was. I said, “my internet doesn’t work.”

It said, “there are no outages in your area.” The next question? “Do you have access to the Internet?” No!!! I just said that!

Waiting and waiting

Next, I’m on hold for 25 minutes. Oh, and of course, while I wait there are ads trying to sell me digital phone service (sure, so I couldn’t call and complain).

After that someone comes on and asks for my name and address (you have my number, you have my records, why do you need this?).

Pointing fingers

Then they blame Earthlink.  I ask, how long until it’s fixed?  They don’t know. But they gave me Earthlink’s number (since I couldn’t look it up!).

So I call Earthlink. Which also has an electronic system, one which doesn’t recognize the phrase, “when will my internet work?” So, I say, “my internet doesn’t work.” The electronic voice tells it’s not their fault and to call Time Warner. And gives me the number.

So, I go back to the menu, ask for a human. It makes me wait. And wait. Until finally another electronic voice tells me that they’re having a problem and hope to have it fixed in an hour.

Arghhh!!!! Now that I’ve torn all my hair out (please send Rogaine – or a wig – auburn please)….

The right way

Is this a good way to treat customers? Not really.

Mistakes and problems happen.  But it’s your response that makes the difference in how people feel about you.  I released a new product to my newsletter subscribers last week (coming soon).  There was a problem with one sale; she couldn’t download it and e-mailed me.

Respond quickly and offer help

First thing I did was email her back, saying,

“Well that stinks.  Here’s what I’m going to do.  Since I don’t want you to have to wait, I’ll upload the file to dropsend (which is a service for emailing large files).  This should take a few minutes.  You’ll get an email from them once it’s done, with instructions on how to get the file.

Thanks for letting me know.  I’m off now to investigate with e-junkie.”

I took care of the upload, sent her the file and went off to straighten things out with e-junkie.  My customer got her purchase,was delighted with the quick response, and learned about a new tool (dropsend).  And of course now, if there’s another glitch, the file is already uploaded and all I have to do is send it.

Problems happen

Problems and mistakes happen.  If there’s a problem (and you know there’s a problem), put that message up first.  ‘Hi, we’re having a problem.  We hope to get it fixed in 20 minutes.  If your service doesn’t come back on, please call us again.  Or, press 5 to speak to a person right away. What if Time Warner had done that?

P.S.  Speaking of gremlins in the interwebs, yesterday’s survey link got farkled.  It’s fixed now.  Please take a few minutes to fill it out (it’s quick).  Thanks! Here’s the link: <a href=”https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dEpmVkxrTklQTUJCSXNZRldNOFdpd0E6MA”>Feedback Form</a>

Feedback and Votes!

VOTE
Image by Theresa Thompson via Flickr

Looking at yesterday’s popular posts, I started looking for a pattern.  Couldn’t find one.  So, I thought I’d get some feedback on what you’d like to see more (or less) of.

Here’s a quick survey.  Please fill it out.  It should only take a few minutes.  And, it will help me give you more of what you want (and less of what you don’t).

Thanks!

Here’s the link: Feedback Form

Top 10 Most Popular Posts. Ever.

33rd America's Cup - Valencia, SpainThey certainly are a varied bunch (everything from fishing to sins to target practice, well sort of).

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7 Deadly Web Copy Mistakes

Actually, this gives me an idea.  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post (your input needed).

OOPS:  Thought I posted this hours ago.  Apparently I never hit publish!