Name the kinds of people you help. This is your ideal customer. It can be schools, small businesses, oil companies, busy moms.. whoever it is that you work with.
Identify a problem they have. Take the example of busy moms. If you offer time management and organization services, say something about how moms have to manage kids, the house, often a job, a husband, manage household expenses, carpooling, activities, etc. and often find themselves trying to go in five directions at once.
Describe how you solve the problem. You offer time management systems that let moms do twice as much in half the time – so they have time left to relax!
What you want is a statement that clearly identifies your target, the problem, and the solution.
For example, on 4/16/08, Kim asked for a review of her elevator pitch on Marketing Pros Exchange. She said, “I’m the president of an event marketing company that specializes in developing innovative events for businesses that want events with a big impact. We custom design each of our events to our client’s specifications, while also providing you with creative marketing ideas and a fresh perspective on emerging trends that can make your event uniquely memorable.”
Listening to that doesn’t help me make a decision whether to hire Kim. I don’t really know what kinds of companies she works with, the problems they have, or how she solves those problems.
She’s not qualifying herself in any way or saying anything which builds trust.
When she asked the question, I suggested she try something like, “I’m the Corporate Event Wizard. I take all the stress out of organizing, scheduling, and planning your corporate events. All you have to do is call, then relax, and be a guest at your own party!”
This states what she does, defines the problems that she solves, and offers a solution.
Need more help?
Try the pitch wizard at http://www.15secondpitch.com.